Marilyn Hellman gives you 9 great tips on how to dress chic with respect for a funeral service. Marilyn explains how to put together a fashionable look that fits into the classic etiquette of what to wear to a funeral.
Hello, my name is Marilyn Hellman and I have a shop in Naples Florida at 375 Fifth Avenue South and people who know me know that I lived in New York for 15 years and when you went to a funeral and you did – didn't like the person who died, you would wear a red dress. A lot of times you'll see this in movies, so I have a red dress on but what we're going to do is, we're going to tell you what to wear to a funeral and it's not a red dress, okay. One of the things you want to do is, black is still the color to wear and if you look at my friends that I brought with me, they are all wearing black but it's okay to have something like this. It’s more than appropriate in the greys and you can wear dark purples they will work too if you have something like that.
I also think it's always nice if you can have something textured, this particular dress is textured. It's the black version of this in a two-piece and it's really nice, the other thing too is, this is a sleeved one and this is really nice and this is a heavier fabric because most funerals are in January, February and March, so you probably would like to think of a longer sleeve. In cases like this, you're going to have to wear some kind of a wrap, so that's kind of important, so think conservatively. The other thing too is, wear a hat. It's a sign of respect and women are wearing more and more hats and more feminine and I gave some suggestions, this is very dramatic but you could do it it's a lovely hat by Steven Jones and it's beautiful to wear to a funeral and it masks the face which is always nice.
Here's another smaller hat and a little more comfortable for those of you – you can also wear this to luncheons and other things, so it has many other places in your wardrobe and also I love the idea of the little veil, just something to give a little more respect to them. Now, you might say well, Marilyn this is black and this has a veil on it. Problem with this is, it has all of the feathers, stay away from feathers or any type of ornament like that. You've got to be real careful because it dresses it up and it doesn't make it as appropriate as it does on something that has less – less detail to it, okay. Also, I want you to tone down the jewelry, I did a simple little jewelry here so you can wear some jewelry but just make sure that you're not wearing a lot of diamonds or things like that. You need to wear sensible shoes, one of the things if you're going to the gravesite, it can be rainy, and it can be muddy, so think about where you're going.
Take an umbrella if you're going to be going that far, a lot of times people don't go to the gravesite but if you are make sure you have the appropriate shoes. In closing, I want to mention a few things about words of condolence, one of the greatest things is when you first meet them, is to tell them about the service, what you liked about the service and may have spoken at the service and it was lovely of course. You also want ask them how much and even how are they holding up? How is the family holding up? And that usually brings about a whole sense of conversation and everything else like that. Appropriate is not to ask if they’ll review the will, this is probably not the right thing but it is a good time to see how they are holding up. The other one is let them – if you're – they're close to you or something maybe they're going to need food or dropping – or dropping off of some meals, would that be possible? Would they like you to do that?